A body in trancendent pain = ?

I don't really know what's happening, it seems like it's impossible for me to even walk without tripping now, cause my mind is completley on mute for anything. I just know that I need to sleep, and then maybe become some sort of human again. But there's always a but, I have to much pain in my f'ing body, right about this moment to be relaxed - where the hell is the perfect guy to give me massage right now, sorry, but the person has to be so rough with me that it's bearable (of what I've heard) to look at me - in my body it's nothing. Cause you could throw a hammer quite hard and I wouldn't react, just to give an example. That's how bad it is right now, hoping it won't get worse cause then I will call the er. to give me something. Morphine perhaps?

Give me sleep and take away my pain. But you know I won't get either of them.

/A