Dodge a bullet from the perfect life?

This week has just started out as hell, with that said, moving on. I have to find my own place where I can lay me down and realise that I'm still me. Also I need someone, and I want to be in love, even though it frightens me to death to become something like that - I'm torn. But you have to be able to jump to see if you still are able to live... How do you combine fear with living to the fullest? For the fact, Happiness isn't something that just are there all the time, life isn't just a ray of sunshine, it's thunder to. I don't strive anymore for the perfect life, that's long gone -instead an idea that might striving for something new, and never expect anything else. Sometimes you really can protect yourself from some of those bullets... Cause nothing is worse than loosing the perfect image in your head, cause when you reach a certain point you will wonder; Was this it? Is there anything more? And when there's not - you slip.

"The perfect and wonderful life with a loved one, children, and the suburb life" - No, that's not for me, not today nor tomorrow.

Xx

/Anna