I was aiming for the sky, ended up flat on the ground, But once again the sun is rising, I better keep on walking, Keep on walking...

One of my favourite songs at the moment, is Keep on Walking by Salem Al Fakir. What a wonderful song it is. I just love from the first note to the last. I usually don't look at the swedish competions of Eurovision song contest, but I am just too much in love with this song to not like listening or watching it... Here it is...

I'm gonna keep on walking

/Anna

Flickering seasons of light...

It's spring outside and I'm trying to find a way that it won't make my mind go nuts - it usually does. Cause it's an unstable season, anytime it can get bad weather, but it also gets lighter and lighter and frankly for my head that's a little too much. I love summer, when it's more stable, of course it flickers to, but not in the same way. As the same with autumn. But I love the seasons, although it always has had a cruelty in the same time for me, but this spring might be different, who knows? But I do now have something I didn't have before... So I might stand and still love the flickering light...

Warm sunlight kisses

/Anna

I need, want, crave right now!

I want theses so badly, right now! Just walking around in them, or have them standing is a pleasure! True babies and true love...

They're a classic already. Christian Louboutin is a shoegod!

Love

/Anna

Two sides of a fragile and firm...

Yesterday I wanted to cut my wrists and die ( if I can be a little bit melodramatic), today I'm jumping of joy, loving life and sing along to every song that I can! Ha, I love and hate the fact that I can be that rollercoaster and knowing it, makes it some kind of fun again, in just one day... I bet that I want to kill myself tonight again, haha! For you it might be quite morbid, it's just a ordinary day for me. But I wouldn't be me, this fragile yet very firm mind - if I didn't have all that comes along everyday.

Now I'm gonna do something useful, taking care of all my vintage dresses that are going to be storaged in my basement... So they need thing over them!

Love

/Anna

Amicus verus est rara avis...

I have some friends that are more special than others, that are really hard to describe, one of them is her, who came into my life in mid 2002, starstruck me with her words, her beauty and her strength. Believed in me when no one else would, screamed, got angry, laughed and loved through everything we went through. She and I have a very bumpy road that we've been travelled on, still travelling - but always managed to get ourselves together when we went through hell and came back up. It's been a very special relationship with this woman - a relationship that I wouldn't trade for anything in this world. We had our fights, our laughs til' we'd start crying and all the endless talking about life, love and what would become of us.

In my opinion we turned out very well, still standing and still in this with more love than we ever would imagined, I am truly blessed of having her as one of my most truly beloved friends.

I love that you love me...

/Anna

Dreams beats reality?

Bad dreams = not a good nights' sleep. We're not talking about nightmare, just dreams that you can be less fond of, I you would be able to pick. Sometimes your past catch up, there's nothing more to that. But what if it doesn't stop? I've managed to somewhat erase many things from my life - but that doesn't mean it haven't happened. But I really dislike my dreams at the moment, they are so close that they feel like they are happening, and I believe it. Some sort of psychotic experience if you may want to call it anything, I don't know, but this beats my reality into pieces...

Take care

/Anna

I left my head and my heart on the dancefloor...

Lady Gaga released her new musicvideo yesterday for "Telephone" a song I really like. The video is so fun, love it when she's over the top, for my case it always works. The Thelma & Louise story line is there, so is other influences like Michael Jackson and Kill Bill, she does this with Beyoncé (who I'm tending to like more and more for each day) and they do it funny and very well! Jonas Åkerlund (the master genius behind many of my favourite videos has directed it and just take a look! Oh, I really wish MTV would be more music and less realityshows...

Sippin' that bub'

/Anna

Nostalgia and some love that runs deep...

One nostalgia trip, a childhood memory and then off celebrating my mother and that it is her birthday! Love my mum, she's the best. Lots of love to this woman, my mother. For putting up with me for over 23 years and for always being there...

This show brings back so many memories that I barely knew I had.

A childhood is sweet and full of innocence, this brings that back. I'll be posting more later on.

This was when we went up in the air, another birthday present for her,

for two years ago, oh want to do it again!

Love and kisses

/Anna

Shoes that just speaks to green...

My body is slowly killing me at this very instant, I'm not that happy as you can imagine. But the spring is arriving and I'm quite relieved that I can put on my high heels and just walk, not yet, but soon! Can't wait... I want new ones... I know what I would like...

These from Mr. Louboutin himself, and wonderful, alarming green ones! Haha! I love!

Kisses

/Anna

Oooh, you've got to just, Vogue!

I think everyone of you have seen the Madonna performance from 1990, at MTV. Today MTV isn't that much about music, which is very sad, cause I was glued to the tv during their weekend breaks with different stars, Madonnas was one of the best. She's always been a rolemodel, since I knew who she was. So the concert I saw last year was probably one of the best I've been at. I just wished I've seen her on Reinvention, or earlier... But this from 1990 - is just fab!

Strike a pose!

/Anna

A touch of spring today...

When I went out today, I truly felt the touch of spring, that's leaning in the air, the snow is melting and soon everything will start to blossom, I hope... Today has been a pretty okey day for me, if you may say so. Walking through Stockholm made me realise why I always fell somewhat inlove with that town over and over again... Well, hope all of you are doing well and that you don't fall to the ground when it gets slippery, hoho!

Love and kisses

/Anna

Top Gear make cars fun!

One of the best shows that I tend to have stumbled upon many times, that aren't even near my normal interests is, Top Gear. Not only is it hilarious, I learn that cars can be fun, I've still doesn't have my drivers licence, but it won't take long now, I think... But Top Gear, so freaking funny, fast driving, competions and lots of arguing about non important nonsense!

I believe that I will become a carlover, maybe... We'll see... But it's something with going as fast as you can that tickles in me...

Love

/Anna

Dodge a bullet from the perfect life?

This week has just started out as hell, with that said, moving on. I have to find my own place where I can lay me down and realise that I'm still me. Also I need someone, and I want to be in love, even though it frightens me to death to become something like that - I'm torn. But you have to be able to jump to see if you still are able to live... How do you combine fear with living to the fullest? For the fact, Happiness isn't something that just are there all the time, life isn't just a ray of sunshine, it's thunder to. I don't strive anymore for the perfect life, that's long gone -instead an idea that might striving for something new, and never expect anything else. Sometimes you really can protect yourself from some of those bullets... Cause nothing is worse than loosing the perfect image in your head, cause when you reach a certain point you will wonder; Was this it? Is there anything more? And when there's not - you slip.

"The perfect and wonderful life with a loved one, children, and the suburb life" - No, that's not for me, not today nor tomorrow.

Xx

/Anna

You were my lesson I had to learn, I was your fortress you had to burn, There's no place left to hide...

Just because this is always on my mind, I love this one... I tend to always fall back on Madonnas album Ray of Light, and specific The Power of Goodbye and Frozen and all the others too... I'm just numb and does not have a very good spirit...

Love

/Anna

Learning to live with it?

Learning to live, seems so easy sometimes. Othes times it's eating me alive. I came to think about why I'm writing a blog and what use I have of it. Having a blog is very self-absorptional and also a place where you just can let your mind speak free. One of my many passions I have is writing, I've always had that, no matter where I've been. Writing is something I could do all day long and it's been really therapeutic - loosing things that just need to go. I have started to think about writing again in Swedish about stuff that needs those specific words - but who knows? I don't, all I know is that my moodswings are back with one hell of a thunder, so I'm not so nice. Time flies, very fast and I'm stuck on the ground trying to catch my breath. But how long does it take to learn how to live?

And one thing, it doesn't matter how fancy you try putting out these words, or romanticide them, make them sound better, the thought, feelings and you are still you. Having bipolar disorder is nothing that none can expect, it's everything ane more at times. It's something you always have to keep fighting for - it doesn't go away - it can't. But after all you're not your disease, but it's a part of you.

/Anna

Is this a good day to pull a trigger?

I don't feel well, anywhere right now - my body is twisting and turning without me making anything... I'm ready to cut parts off to get som relief, but that won't happen, will it? I just wish that I had someone near me would or could stand on my back and try to pin me down to the floor... Or someone that would stretch me til' I starts scream (very unlikely though that I scream)... I want to say that I know it will pass, a logical side in me says that, but the non (whatsoever) logical side says another, so here I am in a crossfire betweed body and brain... Pull the trigger soon? This is not a good day...

/Anna

A wonderful yesterday!

Yesterday my dear friend Emma came over and from my side of the view - we had a blast! Such a fun, cute and wonderful woman! She's just special! And that she and I can listen to the soundtrack from Mulan out in the freezing cold (waiting for a train) says it all! How funny isn't it when two people starts to dance to that or Technoman and jump of joy? Haha, you make the best of what you got! Thank you honey! And yes, we're gonna see Gaga, again! Love!

Now, I've got things to do, we'll just see what happens!

Love

/Anna

A tea Party in Wonderland!

I still haven't melted that I saw Alice In Wonderland yesterday, what a magnificient movie! I loved it! Tim Burton, Johnny Depp - and everyone else did one hell of a job! Oh, can't wait to see it again! I loved it, from beginning to end. Joyful, scaring, morbid, funny, magical, just Wonderful!

Wonderland kisses

/Anna

I love a warm pig belly for my aching feet!

Today I'm meeting up my cousin, love that! Looking at stuff, going to get something nice to eat and then; Alice In Wonderland - by Tim Burton. Gonna be lovely! I think I will love it. Just because it's Burton. But who knows, I'm hoping for the best!

Love from wonderland

/Anna

Lightened life?

Just a quicky here, lots of things on my mind - meaning I have no time for even reflecting over it. But I'll manage, I haven't had any meltdown yet, so maybe I'm really learning something, who knows? All I know is that I love to surround myself with people with creativity, lovely spirits and a whole lot of fun! Thank you all for lightening up my life. Tomorrow I'm gonna meet my cousin, have something to eat and go to the movies, can't wait!

Til' then, waiting for spring....

Loveliness

/Anna