It seems like time really is running away, as for now, I could climb any mountain - but by instinct, I don't... I know better today, I know I'll stumble down as soon as I smashed myself into bits during the crash into reality, is there any way that I can learn how to live without this, not falling down every damn time as soon as I start reaching too high, cause I'm the one pushing me over the edge as it comes closer. I try to work hard but not as hard that I crash into bits. How do I keep myself from the major meltdowns, and just have ordinary ones? In straight outlines; How do I pull myself to the top without killing myself? I'm wondering... How do you live with something that's controlling you and you can't do shit? But on the bright side, that's a part of my life, I'm enjoying it finally! And that dear friends isn't something that I would've said for a year ago.