I think at least some of us know that H&M is doing another campaign, with celebreties, for Fashion Against Aids. As I see it fashion wise, it's a good collaboration and for a good cause. But they can't (in my own eyes) compete with the first ones who were out there and designed the first ones. I especially liked Jade Jaggers last year, I really did. I have her special black top with red lips on it, myself. The one competing this year is Yelles, she's got the message, I really enjoy looking at that one. Oh, why isn't she mentoning everyone else? Because they don't speak to me. Sorry to say! I should get one, it's the right thing, and because my favorite singer died of AIDS, Freddie Mercury.
This one is Yelles, and I like it. This one is in stores NOW! Go! I might get this...
I really love this one from Jade Jagger, but you know it's NOT in stores now. But I have it so I don't bother... Hehe!
Yesterday my friend Evelina ran the marathon, for her second time, in a gazing sun and about 26 degrees celcius, that's hot people to run 42 km... I was exhausted just to watch the people running, I couldn't belive that so many people acctually have these extraordinary bodies who can keep up for that long due of time. I know I can't. So big props to Evelina who finished the marathon and that she is a trooper - like many of my friends are, but in different ways. She really did it.
Later today I'm picking up fabrics, that should be fun, me likey! I hope I find something, not just ordinary things. So I can do stuff again, as I don't have enough at home already?!
Today I'm currently passing water to a friend, Evelina who's running the Stockholm Marathon, I'm impressed, cause I know that I would never be able to do that... I just know that. I wouldn't be able to take the pressure. But there are people who accutally can do that. So I'm cheering for her and passing some water! I'll report to y'all later!
Soon I'm off, not in a very good mood, I don't know? Backuped in a corner, really not knowing what to do today, yesterday was better, but I bursted out and were pouring out all the shit that I can't handle. So maybe I'm writing this to make myself feel a little bit better, not having to think about it all the time. All I want is to be a little fucking ordinary in my head sometimes, seeing things clearly, but sorry people, I won't be that. I will not be that and I don't want that either. I want the cake and eat it and still have it by me. The ones that are offended by me, when I'm like this, don't be that. These are confessions, maybe one day I will write down my really personal confessions, but not right now. Just let it be, can't you just let it be? Cause I can tell you that I'm going to do that and don't let the lights turn down, not yet even if they eventually do that. I'm as confused as Alice is in the teaparty!
Now I'm off to choose a dress, because it's a dress I need!
I know it has to be flowers and prints on it, because I want it!
Today I'm going to a student reception, I think it will be kind of fun, relaxing with people you know or have known a long time ago. Sometimes even that is fun. As it comes for me, I tend to keep my ghosts in my wardrobe, I like them there. Don't know why, haha, of course I know why I keep them there. You never want another person to come digging in your garbage do you? As we all can know that we all have something that we don't want people to know about. I have some things, but my closet is never open for anyone to just come and dig in. But one thing is sure when it's this time of year, the lilacs are in blossom and that is wonderful.
Another part of me, as of me going to this reception, is that I don't know what to wear. And you know I don't find anything in the stores. I just don't. It would be nice with a sort of cute dress and a cardigan? Maybe, I don't know. All I know is that, the more clothes you have, the more difficult your decicion is going to be. But that is just my experience, but I won't be selling of a thing unless the hell freezes over.
I would love to wear a maxidress today, but as always they don't fit my breast...
THE hottest and sexiest guy walking on this earth right now, has to be, Hugh Jackman. I don't know if it's the testosteron or the muscles or maybe that he's incredible hot in every movie he does. He is HOT! Hotter than HOT! Yummie! I love masculine guys, that are strong and don't take no for an answer! I just drowl when I see him...
I don't want to write about all my usual stuff, so I'm going to tell you that I'm currently are listening to the tellie, where it's a big match going on, between Barca and Manchester. Who do you think I'm rooting for? Barca of course! Usually I hate all kinds of sports, but figure-skating is alright, gymnastics are okey and football sometime, like the UEFA leauges. Always the finales, the rest is a bore. Haha! So typically me to do such a thing. Oh, well, I'm gonna watch the last part... And from what I've heard it's like Barca is winning... <3
Sometimes words are not enough, I don't have the words. I don't want the words. But I'll give you something that I listen to right now, that calms me, sooths me, laying me down. From one my big huge fans from my teens, Hole.
(Just listen to the music)
They will make you so So cynical The fire burns, the flesh destorys the past that made us old
She's the grace of this world She's too pure For the likes of this world This world is a whore
I have so much to say, yell or shout out so everybody will hear, but I'm quiet, calm and don't really want to, a contradiction in itself. Usually I'd been a mess by now, but I just shake it off like nothing, I don't know why, I'm not numb, I feel, but I'm controlling it, instead of it controlling me. But I'm annoyed, perhaps by myself, I want a reason - a reason I don't have. Give me something beautiful to look at, or maybe something that will make me laugh so much it aches. I know I'll be watching Project Runway tonight, a must for me... So that's exciting, even if I know who wins... As the rest of the world already does. I wish someone would just rise up and become the next new designer, but we can never get a new Vivenne, Gaultier, Galliano or Mugler, they are for me something that has put a mark in history, as Dior, Chanel, Lanvin, Balenciaga (the original designers)...
I've always imagined that life would be as easy as I would make it. Sometimes that isn't true, sometimes life is hard, but I like to think that it really isn't. If you complicate things, of course it will be hard, but if you don't always have to complicate everything that happens around you, then it won't be so difficult. You just take it as it comes by, a feeling is just a feeling, a thought is just a thought, and when you realise that, it's not so rough to live. When are you really happy with it all?
Now I'm gonna eat carrotcake and drink some icetea.
I've always loved fairies... I find them mystical and always so adorable, something I like to dream about, living in a world that dosen't have all this, this world has. So you create your own, where you can escape to, whenever you need it. I need it sometimes and fairytales is also something I've always loved. But when I found Cicely Mary Barkers fairies I was blown away, I was and is still in love with them. So I'll give you some of my favorites to show, because I think you should know about them. You all gonna think I'm pretty nuts now.
The Rose Hip Fairy, someone I find so loving and wonderful.
The Blackthorn Fairy, an absolute favorite!
The Almond Blossom Fairy.
The Wild Rose Fairy.
Now I'm going to sit down with my entire book of them and look and read about the songs, she's written. If you want to see the written songs and see all the fairies visit this: Flower Fairies
Today has been a dead day for me, I've only managed to get myself from my bed and on top of that to only laying in the sofa infront of the tellie. But sometimes, like today, I don't give a crap. I have to have these timeouts, just to remember why I'm alive. Cause sometimes I don't have any energy to just pick up a pencil. That is dangerous to be in that state of mind. But I don't feel down, it's just exhausting to be like this... Oh, I have to get back on track, I really do. This is horrible... What the hell is happening? Cause I don't know. Truthfully I really don't. I'm a wanderer and I will always be a restless soul, that I know. I wouldn't want my life to be anything else, but sometimes it's nothing else than this - and I'm living with it, this ups and down, and it's my life.
I found this artist who is really good with her drawings and colors, she does it in a computer, I love the dress that I saw. It's lovely! It's not a doubt about that. She has here done a impression of one of Dior's gowns... AnaLee is really talented. You'll see why if you scroll down.
Sometimes, you have so many words that you can't describe what you're feeling, sometimes you don't have them. I don't know, I'm upside down, always trying to keep myself together and yes I manage quite fine, but not all the time. I don't know when I'm in a upwards spirald cause I don't know the signs... Oh I've read about them, but when you're in a mania you have no control over things, I can't control my moodswings, I can deal with stuff, but not control them. But when you feel alive and you can smile, the most important thing is to keep smiling. It's crucial that you always keeps walking, no matter what.
I'm full of hesitation, I'm eager to find out what will happen to the photos that I did the last time with Nina and everybody. A little bit excited to. Because we can't show them, and that is something that's bugging me, I want people to see the pictures! From what I've seen they are a smash! Arrgh! There's not a clue in when we can show them or where... To be continued...
I'm slipping, and I know it will pass, but everytime this happens I'm utterly and totally without control. I just don't enjoy this happening to me. Total lack of inspiration, an uninterest in anything, and just feeling like nothing. I'll be fine tomorrow.
I'll give you a nice picture to look at so you don't think, I'm total lost.
I've always loved the part of the Queen of the Night Aria, I love it, Mozart is unbelivable! I still get goosebumps, everytime I listen to it. That a person can sing like that, I'm quite stunned and surprised, but I know you can. The Magic Flute is a masterpiece! Here are the Aria, I do love.
Last night I met up with some really good jewellery designers for a photoshoot that we're going to have. Elva arranged it so big props to her! I'm really looking forward to do this! Afterwards me and Elva got a bite and talked about tons of stuff, and it was so good just to talk about not so important things and just letting it be, I really admire that woman. She has an amazing talent. Thank you!
This is from last year, when me and Elva had a really funny night out on the town!
Today they're drilling in our zinks, so not funny, it sounds awful. And it's gonna smell like plastic soon to. Oh, how much do I not dislike the smell of melt and liquid plastic in my nose, in this high dose it do not smell nice. Urk! No, nothing for me. But they will be done soon, I hope. Please give me some rest.
Today I'm going to a doctor, a specialist, to get something for my pain in my body, in about 2 hours, later in the evening, I'm going to have a meeting, about some shooting we're about to do. We likey! This is going to work out fine, but I have a pain in my body that I know nothing really can take away and sure it makes me sad, but on the other hand, that makes me me, cause I've evolved with this so many years, that I don't know what I would do without it, how sick isn't that? But I'm happy anyway, cause I know that thing can't really get worse. And that is a comfort.
Anyone who doesn't know the painter, has to do some research!
I really don't have so much to say, so I thought I would treat you with some photos from my favorite stylist right now, you know who it is. I don't know how they do it, but they do it so amazingly that I don't even have words for it.
The amazing photographer who's taken all these photos is Paco Peregrín.
I have to share this song some people I know, I love this and so will you. This is way back for me. But being nostalgis is the thing this weekend. She is an extraordinary woman, she is magnificicent. Nothing can be compared to these old songs with her and the new ones the band does. Of course it's Tarja and a old song called Passion and The Opera, one of my all time favorites. I love this. It's pure and she sounds even better now, then for 4 years ago, she sounds like when I heard her without Nightwish the first time, she blooming now. Who knows what's gonna happen?
I had a blast last night, an absolute amazing evening, my feet aches, I'm tired but happy. Something I will never forget. It was a fantastic party for celebrating Dekadance as a 5 year old club. But for one moment there I felt like the thing I used to love about it was gone, but when you think about it, I've grown, things change, it's called evolution in the human mind (I think). But to meet all the people there and saying hello to all of your friends that you haven't seen in quite some time is really really nice, and loveable. And then you find it again the thing why you are going to these places, 'cause of the people. They are for me the most important thing, shiny, happy people!
A photo of my wonderful Natacha Marro shoes! True love.
Tonight it's the Dekadance anniversary for being a club for 5 whole years. I'm starting in a minute to begin the preperations, like doing a mask, of course the one from Dermalogica and to do som treating my body, doing my hair, makeup... You know all the stuff you have to do! And yes the outfit is already choosen, because if it weren't I'd be hallucinating right now, ha! My theme for tonight is: sophisticated yet edgy and romantic... You'll see.
This mask is by far the best I've ever used, I truly love it!
Later I'm going over to my wonderful friend Elva and her husband Kjell and then the big party! How lovely isn't this evening going to be? I guess from a scale to 0 - 10 it's gonna be an eleven! A party to 5 o'clock in the morning, could it be better?
I just have to show you something that I've discovered these couple of months and it tears my heart apart that I will say this, maybe some of you have noticed that cheaper labels like H&M and Topshop, I might even ad Steve Madden and Asos cause they do it to, is copying other designers stuff just to be a little bit "better?" and make everything avaliable to everyone, no harm in that last one. In times like these, it's highly unlikely that you can't copy something, you always do, but to do sorts of this stuff in this way is not just unfair it's a ripoff, there is just some changes on them, so they don't look excactly the same. I can love it, and hate it. But sometimes I have to admit that they are even.
Look at these shoes and tell me if you don't see the or any recemblance?
This pair is from Kurt Geiger and he is one hell of a guy at making fresh eccentric shoes.
This one is from Steve Madden, and yes I like them, but do they beat the original, no.
Yesterday was just wonderful, I don't really have anything bad to say about Jean Michel Jarre, he's an excellent performer and he is so petite. You just should have been there, I have some photos but I'm not posting them yet. The lightshow was AMAZING, beat that all you other people, of course I've had expected a lightshow, but this was far out, brilliant performed, matching the music and everything that it should express. I think what I experienced last night is something I never will forget, and on the other hand I want to see him in a larger outdoor show, cause I've been told that's when he's best. You had to be there!
This is one of my favorites, you can belive how happy I was about hearing it live. Nothing compares to this live. <3
Today it's Jean Michel Jarre @ Hovet. It's a lovely opportunity to see a legend in the synth scene. I'm going to see him, with my mum and dad. Haha! Why? Because they introduced me to his music. He's a genius. Nothing else... We'll see tonight, I'm very hopeful!
I have to remind you about a party this upcoming saturday, of course it's Dekadance huge celebration of being a club for 5 wonderful years, lovely! A part of me gets nostalgic, but that's what somethings are for. Remebering things like what's has happened and what the future is going to hold!
I hope I'll see you at Dekadance on saturday and please do say hello to me, I promise I won't bite you!
Tonight me and my mum are going over to my dear old friend and her mum, to spend some wonderful time with lots of laughter and other things, and yes, I'm getting to eat Tacos! I loove it! So now I have to get dressed and ready for fun!
My lovely and wonderful friend Josefine and me! <3
I heard on tv a couple of days ago that blogging is slowly going out of "style", you aren't going to use anything that is blogging, nor twitter ( don't take me wrong but thank god that I haven't begun with that) what's up with that, really? Using unimportant things to write about. Nobody is interested in wheter you did that or did not, just ouhm, I'm currently looking for an old magazine that has Lily in it. Which Lily of them all? And why on earth would anyone be so extrovert, to tell everybody what you're doing. There's a thing called privacy and yes, I know I can write very revealing things about myself. But there's a difference in just use a short message and to really write about it. Writing is very theraphutic, even if you may say it's not...
I read also that it is the "fashion-blogs" that goes best here in Sweden. Just blogging about fashion isn't neccesarely what I would love to do, cause it's so superficial, but you know we need the shallow things, the deep, the stuff that doesn't really matter and stuff that really matters, cause we need to feel a connection between eachother when we read. I like to read everything interesting that comes my way, but I don't in particular get something out of it all the time. It's really easy if you say so. If you are for instant a person that enjoys just fashion, I highly doubt that, then you would enjoy reading tons of stuff about just that. Now, me on the other hand, like to read about stuff that is happening, but not the most trivial things, like what you had for dinner (if it wasn't a really fancy one), I like what people do. I will blog of the things I want to write about, love, life, fashion, photography, friends and everything I think you should know about me.
I'm not going to be long today, I'm feeling better and I'm looking at things and I don't feel a thing, yes I talk about the provocativity that fetish clubs is sending out. I guess things aren't the same as they were for me anymore. I don't get anything from people having sex next to me, I don't even see them. I guess you get kind of bored and wheatered out when it comes down to it. I should really give awknowledgement to the people who still can see everything as new, because I don't. I don't get the thrill, maybe cause I know how many people are in reality. I have some amazing friends though that always keeps challeging me but it doesn't matter what they wear, they could wear rubber, leather or just ordinary clothes. They are still interesting. I think those people are the ones worth haning on to, they explore your mind and never leave you with nothing else than what I want.
I dreamt about him tonight, it was horrible, I hated it. I told him, no more like threatening him, that if he didn't say some things I would rip his heart out. I know I can be very melodramatic, but that's me - and nothing that you say will change that. I will be dramatic, I will shead tears for people, I will scream, I will be everything yet nothing at the same time.