Today I've been out on an little island here in the lovely Stockholm. It's so beautiful, warm and windy out there! The whole family was there visiting a friend of ours. Well, we had a marvelous time and now I'm so tired I can't keep my eyes open... So time for bed...
A stomach that doesn't really work is hell. Living hell... It's been a mess for a pretty good while, but it has it's ups and downs... I'm in no mood whatsoever to go back to the doctor over and over again, that's what I've been doing for over 2 years now... But this is just not alright - not even a little bit close to okey.
Back home, tired but very very happy! It's been lovely days, with lots of laughter, dancing and sun! It really felt like the traditional midsummer on the countryside. Oh, I will return with photos later... Now I've gotta go plan my brothes 21st birthday tomorrow!
I have a crisis, a "real" one, I have no dress for tomorrow (or I have to many) and I really can't decide. I want it to be nice, pretty with flowers, it's midsummer, then it's no time for sexy dresses - but those that have a romantic touch to it. As a romantic I have to wear a dress and look somewhat something.
Tomorrow it's midsummer night's eve and I'm going to the west of Sweden early in the morning! Hope that the weather will be nice and that we will have lots of fun! I think I will go out and pick some flowers, lay them under my pillow and hopefully meet my man! No, but I would like to see elfs and other mystical creatures around me.
The sun is shining, my life is good - but something is missing. Nevermind, I don't need time to think right now, I need other things. I hope that all of you (wherever you are) are having a really good time and enjoying yourselfes. I hope that the summer will stay this warm and beautiful 'til the indian summer (brittsommar in sweden) is kickin' in. I love that part of the year to. But it's summer, so today it means bathing and sipping ice-tea!
I'm sitting in a cute little dress, thinking about how life seems to change very fast around med, and I don't really know how to follow the rythm as much as I would want to. I know I can't tell myself that I'm a failure, cause I'm not. I'm a fighter. I know that I've always had to fight my way up and I've done it, as well as many of my friends. But I don't write this in a way of pity or in judgement. That's not my nor anyone I know's game. It's the fact that life has it's twists in the story and you have to figure out your own way, not your brothers, sisters, friends or family. It's your life, you have the control over it, not the person next to you.
Am I done passing judgement on myself? And am I ready to live the life I want to live - and not the life that you are intended to do?
Swedish folklore has a special place in my heart. I tend to believe in them, or I have always wanted to believe in elfs, ogres, all mythological things in this worlds excites me. Mystical creatures, foregin places, everything that really can't be explained. How many of us, has not wished to see the fairies during the summer, or the trolls in the woods and mountains. I know I am, always wandering around when I get the chance to, in my own little world...
Hope that you will see something magical and mystical this summer!
Today I spent the entire day in town, fun, but lots of people! Due to the marrige of our Crown Princess. I'm not a royalist, but I had to look at her dress and hopefully just celebrate love! Well, I think we should celebrate love more! Frida and me, walked around, talked, laughed and had the best time and it was so hard saying goodbye, even if she's only an hour away! She's a ray of sunshine, anyone who's had the pleasure of getting to know her, know that! So thank you for today my dearest honeybum!
Tonight a night when a lot of things are going on, but for me to put on the high heels, a nice dress and makeup, is unbearable - and it kills me, cause Basement Jaxx and Mike Snow is playing! Where the hell is my partymood, has it gone out the window?
Tomorrow I'd be spending time with one of the people whom I'm closest to, today. I love her dearly with all my heart. She's that girl that you can tell anything without the feeling of getting judged or feeling utterly wrong. She's my Frida, the shy, gentle and sparkle girl, who I see to rarely! Shame on me! So tomorrow I'll be spending my day with her, simple as that!
It's thunder outside! So close... Well I'm happy that I'm not outside or have to be there anymore this day! Yesterday was so good, the movie was so nice, but as an old almost fanatic fan of SATC, how hard can it be? Of course it's not like the series, but it's still Carrie & co! Love them! So see it, if you already love them! And I do.
Can't believe it's pouring down and the lightening is so close... I've gotta close this on down! Oh, the swedish summer, what would we do without it?
Today it's finally Sex and the City 2, I loved the show since I saw it the first time! I won't let myself be let down by all the negative comments around it. We'll just have to see. I'm going with lovely, Linda-Marie (also known as ElleM) a very stunning and cute girl!
Sitting on my balcony and just enjoying life. Sure this is not the best day, I wasn't able to do what I wanted to... But I will get there, right now I'm just relaxing in the sun with lots of sunscreen! If the weather doesn't hold here in Sweden, I think that my entire family will go abroad, I want to go to Morocco, so maybe there or anywhere in the Sahara desert... A dream for me would be to travel on the silk road, there we have cultural, mystical, magical things occuring... The name silk road makes me shiver....
I also thought about start taking up singing and dancing again,
I think something is really happening and I like it.
Listening to this music, brings me to foreign places, the mysticism in the world... Beauty, that's Loreena McKennitt for me. A place were the consciousness lays down at peace and can look at the world with different eyes. Pure as it can be.
I need to find a man, a real man! Not someone who tends to be lame or not following through. I don't want a guy that only is good on paper and a faker... Where have the real men gone - and if they are gone, who has taken all of them? Cause that few good men can't be reality? A proper man, is that to much to ask for? I want passion, romance, fun and everything! Well as predictable, it's obvious that we are looking for a needle in a haystack - and frankly I'm bored.
I guess that I really will end up as the lady with all the shoes and no man!
Classical music is more soothing than anything, I just listen, relax and fly away to another place and time. There's something very special over the notes put together, something magical that I can't put any superlative, emotion I feel... Just listen and take a moment!
Looking at the fall collections isn't as funny when you recently just left it, and then are thrown back into it, the reason, fashion is like that. Almost a year in advance... No wonder people get sick of pumping out clothes like never before. Nevermind... The fall collections look nice, I've just been through some of them. But looking at Alexander McQueens makes me cry, he was one of the most talanted designers out there. Here's a piece from the last collection he did.
All it does is raining, I'm bored to hell or something like that... I love warm summer rain, dance around barefoot, the air smells different and all the blossoming is wonderful, but not the cold. If the whole summer is going to be like this, cold, I'm not gonna be a happy kid.
If it's going to be rain, it better be warm out...
But we don't control the weather, how much we would want to.
Today I've been to a vernissage where a picture I've styled is, meeting people I haven't met for over a year! Funny how life is, that's what I think right now. The weather is dull, boring and nothing to cheer for... Where did the sun go? My mind is full of different things I need to do, get or want. The questionmark is how to get it without slamming into the wall? Cause pushing myself wrong right now, might not be that good.
No, the page here is NOT ready, but right now I don't know what I need, something, it will grow. Maybe different colours?
This is the new fab video from Lady Gaga, Alejandro, directed by none else than Steven Klein himself (one of my favourites). It's very influential from Madonnas early work Vogue, Express Yourself and Like A Prayer, but different in it's way, something also strucks me with Queens Radio GaGa video. But it still get the hold of me with military, religion, death and love - without a doubt. This is creative, I truly enjoy watching it.
The mind is getting better (keep your fingers crossed), but my body (read; pain) is killing me, as it does so well after many years - but I keep hanging on. Not throwing in the towel right now. I do not have the time for that. Otherwise, the rollercoaster is on, but this isn't in any way as fun as riding all the amusement rides... But as they say, What doesn't kill you... I don't know if I believe in that right now.
Yesterday we had a very warm, faboulus, exciting day... Chasing cows, through all kinds of shit, literally, and then being where there was no shadow (yes, I got some colour)! Haha, love these crazy things - although you get quite tired out at the end, not enough water, too much sun, but thanks to all of the people yesterday! You were (are) Amazing!
I nicked a photo from one of the models yesterday, Andrea!
Now, I'm gonna go and get my brother from the trainstation!
Today I went to an amusement park, here in Stockholm, the name of it is; Gröna Lund - and yes, they have some sweet rides, but I want and need more exciting things... But it was fun, we had a very warm and sunny day with lots of laughter!
Tomorrow I'm getting up at 5 o'clock to prep for a shoot, not a funny time to begin...
Sometimes I wish I was religious, I'm not in that way. I due tend to wanting to find something more. I will never stop questioning; who I am, who I want to be, those trickly ones. Cause I do believe in improvement, or at least I want to believe in that. If that's reality, no that's nothing I would tell my children (when I get them) that it is, is it called cynicism, maybe? I do really dislike thinking about values, cause they mess up more than they settle... Well, leave that to rest and take care of something else now.
For some moments ago, the rain started to pour down. I seized the moment as you can call it and stood on my balcony looking up and around, and breathed in all specific smell of summer. Especially when it's raining or has done so, it's just wonderful and refreshing. Well, today has been a better day then the other ones, but now I'm dreading rain for the rest of the remaining week. Hope not, due to outdoor activities.
I want my body back (a healthy one), my happy soul and something other than this. I'm having a really bad week and it's nothing personal, to anyone who might get the idea of that. No this is my beautiful mind playing with me, I don't think you ever get completly used to that thought. You just go with the flow - like everything in life!