Saturday, October 31, 2009

I want your loving, All your love is revenge, You and me could write a bad romance!

If I would choose one of todays' biggest names, it has to be Lady Gaga, that lady never seems to stop amaze me, or the world either. She is unique in her own way, she's an eccentric - an entertainer, you name it. I am truly amused by all the provocation she causes, how this 23 year old woman, does what she does. If anyone has seen her performance at MTV Video music Awards, you know that this is true.

Her new single, Bad Romance,
is not a disappointment either - she really does it nice.
Go listen to it, now!

I had to come and write something here, cause I'm bored out of hell. No, I don't want to go out, neiter do I want to do the things I'm doing... We'll see... If I try to kill myself in my tedious escapades tonight, don't worry cause the only thing that can or will happen is that I'm just gonna be in my boredom (but it do sounds a bit melodramatic writing this, none the less never mind) I have to sort my shoes - and really that can not be boring?! Can it? Huh?


All Hallows' Eve!

Today it's All Hallows' Eve or Halloween as we call it today, I think the last thing is so boring, the name in it's original format is more exciting. So today everybody is dressing up, going out in costumes and have fun - I really don't have any energy for that. After waking up with a twist and not have a single clue where I am, and already on a high rollercoaster, I find myself that I don't need anything more - this is more scary than anything else that happens...

But I have to wish everyone a very splendid and magnificent All Hallows' Eve and that you rock!
And yes, something caught up with me yesterday, that I do my best to not think about.


Friday, October 30, 2009

A new beginning - at least for my blogs' prospect!

As you all can see, I've tried a new model to fit me and my blog, I'll see how long this one holds up to my standard, in other case - I might switch it tomorrow or never, it depends if I get the old one out of my head. I've practically had it since the beginning and now, we'll just have to see. So I think there's gonna be some changes around my little baby, but my mind is set on simple, clinical and pure with some colour... But of course the blog is still gonna surround about my life, what happens, fashion, music, everything that I want to share with you!

Right now I have to start organizing everything cause I'm cleaning...
I have a feeling I'll be awake 'til the early morning hours, so wish me luck!

See y'all later and sleep tight!

A creature illustrative by rock couture!

I absolutely adore Natalia Vodianova in the upcoming V magazine. I love this little creature of human being, she's a fair woman... I just feel that she is innocent, even though that accutally may not be the case... As a huge fan of showing something nude, but not everything and transparent fabrics, this is to die for. Give me!

Photos by Hedi Slimane
Fashion by Nicola Formichetti


Thursday, October 29, 2009

Gaga has become Dazed!

As everybody know, by now... I love Lady Gaga, I think it has been like that since I heard Just Dance for more than a year ago. Not only is she making really good and controversial music, she is an eccentric in all ways and direction you think you can take look at. She's some sort of a phenomenon that we can't stop talking about. She has herself saif that she is herself all the time, and that's the thing, she is a little bit too much everytime and that's what capture us and we gets stuck looking at this phenomenal woman. She did a short film for Dazed Digital, everyone knows of course that it's Dazed and Confused behind it - and it becomes really good!
Go check it out here!

"I belive in a glamourous life and I live the glamorous life..."
- Lady GaGa

And what else can you do; but not to love all the things she's wearing?

Photos by Kasia Bobula


Wednesday, October 28, 2009


Right now, this is in my ears, loove it! Old rock is the thing, my darlings! Zeppelin - enjoy!

And yes, the tests went well, now I just have to wait for 1-2 weeks... Hm, and I had so much ache in my arm after they took blood, I felt like a cushion for a while (or at least my poor arm did).


Chances, do you take them?

Today is the day when I finally gets to see my doctor about my troubles surrounding my stomach and that's really good. Even though it really has helped to keep myself away from milk, it's somehow not good yet, not as good as I hoped. The final test is although for me to shock my little tummy, with all the milk I can get, and really I do not really want to. I can't give it pure milk, cause then I'll be nauseous and I hate that feeling. We've got to wait 'til the final verdict from the doctor... I think now is the time when I have to stop pretending and start do something about my entire body.


Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Stop, stop praying, Cause I'm not playing, I'm not frozen, Dancing is my remedy...

I have to much on my mind, that I really can't sort anything out, at-the-moment. Nothing special, just thought about life, love and what's going to happen. I know now for sure that life twists and turns as much as it wants to. It's not in my hands... No matter how much you debate about how life should be, or you would like it to be in a specific way, life usually make sure that something new always happen - on a daily basis, it would be kind of boring otherwise wouldn't it? As it comes to love - that is also something that just happens, by random accident. Neither can you control it, neither do you want to.

Just for me speaking, I like life and love being random. I've come to notice that happiness is nothing I can be guaranteed, or love or a life. Life seems to swoosh by sometimes while you stand still. I wonder why it comes to that - how you sometimes control life and see everything around you, just happen. And oh dear, I would love to find someone who was strong enough tp catch me, cause I know for my own sake and for that person - that any other case doesn't work. Is there anyone out there who is strong enough to catch a person that is almost always living on the edge?


Monday, October 26, 2009

Autumn Masks.

I got the finals from Lisa today, as always I'm gonna let the pictures speak for themselves - in my opinion they already do, so I let them, cause they do it very well. Just think antique, autumn and beauty...

Photographs by Lisa Hasselgren
Fashion by Anna Hassan-Reza
Make Up by Elva Ahlbin
Hair by Hanse Andersson
Models, Lovisa and Ebba - Stockholmsgruppen

In the first picture, there's a mask from Pom Pom Parlour,
go check them out in their store at Pub!

Autumn kisses

Eat me, Drink me!

I know it's an old shoot, but I loved when Harper's Bazaar did a shoot with Tim Burton and his wife Helena Bonham-Carter. I really loved it! Really fantastic pictures of people portraying characters from Burtons magical world, as we wait and long for Burtons interpretation of Lewis Carroll's story Alice In Wonderland, out in March 2010. Can't wait!


Sunday, October 25, 2009

Behind the graphical shoot!

As I told you yesterday briefly I had a photoshoot, with talented, amazing and wonderful people, Nina, Elva and Hanse - I love working with them. We begun early in the morning, and ended it around half past six... I'll give you some Behind the Scenes work, until the final images are ready!
In a my own point of view I find it better to let them speak for themselves. The beautiful models were Niousha and Cornelia from Elite!


Saturday, October 24, 2009

Happy, colorful and vivid!

Home - but not tired at the moment. I'm too exited, and have a little bit more to give. Today was very creative and fantastic to do! Love working with Nina, Elva and Hanse, lovely, creative, always striking higher to reach another goal, they generate so much towards you and you give back. It's all about collaboration, how to evolve and get it togheter. I'll tell you more tomorrow and there will also be some behind the scenes to look at... So keep your eyes out for it!

This picture is taken by Greg Kadel, one of many inspirations.

I'm high on life - and that's lovely!


Friday, October 23, 2009

What you waiting for?

Tomorrow is the shooting day, that's been up for plans for about 2 months, and I have a feeling that it will be a smash... What else can you expect when you have, Nina, Elva and Hanse as your team? I know it will be amazing, cause it'll be very very creative, and right about now, I'm a bit calm, before the storm. But any minute now, I have to start packing all my stuff and make sure everything will work out the best.

Of course, it's Kattaca who is behind this one ;)


Thursday, October 22, 2009

I hear a spark of life shining.

Yesterday everything went back to being somewhat normal, at least in my eyes, I went over to Elva and Kjell and their lovely little son Alpha, he is so cute, I can't help but laugh! I can not, not have a good time with them.
So I'm knocking on wood, hoping for the best, not anything else - and hope that this mood or something like this is still in me, for the rest of the week, I know I have the support around me, and today that's amazing, cause without people who would see me for me, and accept it - is just one of the most precious thing I have. And it hasn't come easy, but it's a beginning for my life and it's worth fighting for.


Wednesday, October 21, 2009

I'm just standing still...

About now, I'm the rollercoaster, totally fine today and it bothers me, a little bit too much. Of course you have to know that these sort of things happens, but not at this level. There's only one amout you can take from it - regardless of who you are. But hey it's life and it's a rollercoaster.

I'm just standing still, hoping that this will last, cause right now, you don't know...


Tuesday, October 20, 2009

I don't want to die, but neither do I want to live...

The only thing that goes through my mind when I'm chasing the rabbit into my own world of make-believe, is not again, I can't take it one more time. No, I'm not a melodramatic person right now, I only say those torturous words that slowly breaks me down - so no there's no taking pleasure in this. I don't want to die, but I don't want to live either. I'm torn, into halves of me. I don't want to die, I've got no longing for death, nor do I fear it. But I don't have the energy to go and wait 'til all hells breaks loose.

I'm standing on two sides, screaming.

This is a part of being bipolar, for me...
After writing this, I feel fine again.

Kiss my eyes and lay me to sleep...

Today I'm getting my phone back, finally! I'm eager to hear about what the real problem was, cause it had to be something. So later I'm going into the city to collect it, thank you!

And today, or right about now, it's a little bit easier than yesterday. I wanted to almost suffocate myself, that's how it is to be me, ups and downs, really not knowing anything that you should know. I love being on top, but the familiar feeling is down. But today it's better, but knock on wood - it might be a false, so I'm not saying anything more.


Monday, October 19, 2009

I never meant to start a war...

I found some really nice pictures during this weekend, I needed to put away everything that I had in my mind - but believe me it's not as far gone as I want it to be - either way, I'm dealing with it and at the same time finding new interesting things that I love to look at, lovely! But in all other prospect - it's all very bittersweet. You can never know with me, I hate that. But it's a part of me...

The lady of Shalott by John William Waterhouse - so beautiful!

Queen Guinevere's Maying by John Collier - I love it!


Sunday, October 18, 2009

Feelings, emotions, whatever you call them..?

I'm a roller coaster this weekend, I am just trying to cope with all the feelings that's thrown towards me, and all I need is to let it be, not trying to mess around anymore. I just letting it go and realise that it's only emotions, not something else. I'll be fine later. But hey, it can't last forever?


Saturday, October 17, 2009

When you need fairytales as the only way to escape...

What goes up, must come down - that my friends is the definition of the law of gravity. And it's true, sometimes it also hurts. I'm not gonna say anything more, I don't have the words. I'll be silent until the words can be found and not sound destructive. This is my life, ups and downs, I'm a work in progress and I'll never stop. Don't worry, but this time I can't just release the control, I have to know and accept. I knew this would happen - I opened the door to my childhood. Now I'm gonna read Brambly Hedge, and disappear into a world that's not this, cause that how I've always done it...


Friday, October 16, 2009

There's nothing left to lose, There's no more heart to bruise, There's no greater power than the power of good-bye...

All I can say, listen or explain to you, interpretate this as you can or want to. It's equal to all it's meanings.


Thursday, October 15, 2009

I will forever be Hung up on Madonna!

I want to see Madonna again, right now, at this very moment! Such an inspiration. It's just joy to see her do all the things she does. She's 50, keeping it alive like no other fucking one - and she just is the best ever! I think I realised for a moment ago that I acctually saw her... That's amazing, and it's not the last (I hope desperately). And that part of her being together with a 23 year old, deal with it! When it's a man you don't care, but when it's a woman, you'll be in rage - isn't that a little bit wrong? She does it because she can, so who gives a flying fuck?


Life = comedy and tragedy!

It's very funny to look back sometimes, I have to admit that. Although I don't like being there for too long, I'm there and scratching in my memories... And how life's suddenly seemed to have evolved around you, without your noticing the parts that were crucial to you, it's funny how you can sit and say that you could have done that instead, when you do the after maths, well, there are no recaps off life, we just have to learn and hope for the better, cause that's what's mold us and made us into the individuals we are today. It's a fascinating thing life - especially when you're bipolar.

I like the greek masks for theatre, comedy and tragedy,
the resemblance to life is amazing for me.


Wednesday, October 14, 2009

It's better to burn out, than to rust...

I have to admit that Neil Young is one hell of a talented guy, I just can't stop listening. He's real in every prospect of the way when he puts his feelings out there... And the funny thing is that it's really melancholic songs, not the happiest ones - and I'm completely at ease with it. Anyone who knows the feeling of melancholy, know that it's never like that, you absorb every little thing you hear - so all these small changes is humongous for me, and I love it! I don't let my feelings get overwhelmed, I just accept them. When you've come to the point of accepting yourself - then you know you're on the right way, path whatever you want to call it. It's life and you deal with the parts that come in your way, not everything at the same time.


Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Coca Cola light looks amazing!

I'm probably the last one to show all the bottles that designers from Italy did for Coca Cola Light, I just think they're amazing! Funny, unpretentious, and luxurious, I loove! Don't you want to drink from one of those bottles? Just by looking at them?

Missoni, Moschino and Versace is these three!
Here are more pictures!


I'm not afraid anymore.

For a year ago, I would never have guessed that I would love to live, have the feeling that you are in control over almost everything, but yet accepting when everything isn't and you're still at peace. I honestly thought my life would be a fairytale with a very bad ending - that was my life. Now a year after I took the decision of taking lithium as my main medicine, I'm stunned and amazed over almost everything that happens and also myself. A life that once were so destructive and ripping me apart - has now become a life that I never ever imagined could or would happen and, when I say never believe it, I really mean that word. It's a whole new me, the old one is still in me, but she isn't the one in position. So anyone who says that lithium wasn't for me, trust me - are deadly wrong. I'd be lying in a coffin deep in the ground if it wasn't for that.

Today I'm just satisfied with life,
and yes it's still a lot of work to do,
but it's finally paying off.

Lots of love

Monday, October 12, 2009

Acceptance is moving forward.

Our memory in our brains is amazing, you can remember somethings so irrelevant that it's stupid, in this case I knew that a song I looked for was on a specific CD that I haven't seen for more than 3 years - and I found it. It's quite impressive that you can remember things that way. When we still are on this thread I can tell you that it's really happened things, I can now listen to anything without feeling the strongest emotions I used to feel, I just feel and it don't bother me. Think that you have have been at a very shitty place in your life, where you connect to this music, and now no longer does. It's amazing how acceptance is crucial to get better. Steps are now finally taking forward, not backwards.


Sunday, October 11, 2009

Creativity is a key to everything.

All I listen to right now, is Remedy with Little Boots, see further down in the blog for her video and music. I love talented musicians! Creative people are always fun! I'm surrounded by creative people all the time. I need to have them there. They are somewhat so important in what I do - in terms of getting ideas, see beautiful work of arts, and it goes on and on. If you would take away the creativity from me, I'll know that I don't have so much to gain, it's probably one of the most essential things I have. I need it and I think anyone who is slightly like me, knows that...


Saturday, October 10, 2009

A fire flamed heart!

All I can say today is that I'm just smiling, and that my brothers are the best in the world.
So instead of writing I'll give you a picture that I like, of a heart.


Friday, October 09, 2009

New borders to break and feelings to alight!

Today is a very good day, I can eat yogurt again, but it isn't any milk in it, I love that - and it taste remarkable, just like the real, ha, funny thing. And yeah, my brother is coming home over the weekend today, how lovely isn't that? I just keeps on smiling and looking taking steps forward, like a little child who never has experienced christmas... Oh, I have to buy gifts to everyone soon... I just don't know what to get everyone... But my brother is home this weekend - and that's lovely!

Life is looking brighter than ever before, and a part of me, wants it to be like it's always been, another one is longing for this new found feelings.


Thursday, October 08, 2009

Move while you're watching me, Dance with the enemy, Here is my Remedy!

Sleep is a very funny thing, at least from my view. Right now, I don't feel like I need much sleep, but my body is sleeping, so what should I do? Listen to my head or to my body... It's usually a very good thing to listen to it, I'll tell you that, cause sleep is something we all need. In my case without sleep, I go from being not only crazy but utterly mad, haha, I'm kidding - but there's some proof in it. So I want to share a song that I currently love, Little Boots - Remedy. Soo good!

It's like everyone is a little bit graphic in their things they do... I'm not gonna judge, I just like the song!


Wednesday, October 07, 2009

Go through the Looking Glas!

Am I the only one who's dying to see how Tim Burtons Alice In Wonderland is? I'm dying! I really want to see it, nooow! Give me! It's mad from what I've seen, beautiful and just what you could ask from the genius Burton and the cast!

Look at the trailer here!


Dystopia by Illamasqua!

I just fell for a picture yesterday, it was so good! It's a new make up brand called Illamasqua, only one year old and very dramatic, in my perspectiv, you really can't wear it on a daily basis, but I think that's the whole idea. Anyway I give you a picture from their last makeup called Dystopia, I looove it! I've simillar things, but I still love this!


Tuesday, October 06, 2009

On the way for a healthier living!

All I can say it that I'm from now gonna keep a journal over what I eat and the lack of food some days. I think it's going help me open my eyes even more. Going to a dietitian is really really good. I'm getting to where I want to be, not anything else. I have to eat lots of fruit, vegetables, and all other stuff that are green. I'm not going to eat more fat, so it's not gonna be like GI or LCHF, haha! She said that the only thing those diets do is take away all the water, and that's really easy - in a short term. In a long term this method is going to make me much more healthier, and yes I can still cheat sometimes!

So no more juices. Soda, or stuff that only have things that only has sugar in it, juices of course doesn't just have sugar in it, it has vitamins, but soda... Did you know it's better to eat an apple than to drink applejuice? I know now, it's a facinating thing, for sure!

I think that I know will brew myself some ginger tea with some honey in it, lovely!