I would do anything to have a normal life, not the one that I live. Although it is quite pleasant to live nowadays, it has never in my life been easy, that's a fact my darlings. Nothing may ever be complete for me, I get bored then - nor can it be that I want it to be bored, you see I don't control everything in my brain, if I did, I wouldn't be writing this right now. My head hurts - for real and I can't take any aspirin for it, though it might hurt my body in a long term. Oh fucking someone why can't I be normal, or at least have the capability to be as normal as is gets, normal seems fine now, normal is not bad. I just want to live a fucking life, that not tries to kill me, every single week.
Despite my anxiety, that I belive none of you have - if it's roomtemperatured and goes with that redwine and you know that you are not in fact going to die - please leave, cause you have no right whatsoever to proclaim that you have it. Guess what, you're one of the lucky bastards who got away or should I call it what it is - you are normal.
Now I'm going to enjoy my new shoes, my "new" season of House M.D and look at pretty things... None of the above was directed to anyone, I just had to throw some things up.
It will all go away soon.
xo xo
Ciao!
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