Thursday, March 19, 2009

Art = Provocativity?

I feel deeply uncomfortable right now, I don't know what the hell it is. My head aches, my stomach aches and I just feel disconnected from everything, maybe cause I've been sick the last two weeks, we can concentrate on that for now I think. If it hasn't passed away next week, then we can start wondering if everything is alright, I hope so. I don't like being ill. I really hate it, not so nice. It would be comforting to talk to someone right now. Not about deep stuff just complain about how ill my body feels. My whole body aches and I don't have a clue what to do about it.

I want to talk about a thing with you, a thing that buggs the hell out of me. A girl here in Sweden called Anna Odell (Oh, if anyone think it's a problem with writing her name it's not), she goes to a school here called Konstfack - a well respected school if I may say so. But the thing she does as her last piece before she graduate is something slightly more disturbing in my eyes. You don't play with psychological things, just to call it art. You can't simulate a psychosis in order to get into a psychiatric hospital to see how it works there. It's not hard to be provocative neither is it art anymore. It's not art for me when a sane young woman needs to be this provocative to start, I don't know what. Does anyone know for sure? I know for sure that she's mocking each and everyone whos' ever been there, for real. She's for sure mocking me, cause if she just simulating a psychosis and I am not, and she is taken for real and I'm just left behind. Who the hell wins? Is she now going to beginn a mistrust to anyone who has a depression (yes a real one, not the one "I've been dumped") or a Bipolar disorder, Borderline, Schizophrenia, or any personality disorder or any disorder that's related to this. Should I not be trusted for the things I feel and think because the doctors now can label the simulators too? You do not ever want another person to feel that anxiety or the feeling of depression and the world on your shoulders. Not even your worst enemy. She has not a clue of what she's started...

xo xo

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