Trust, Dishonest, Death, before dishonor?

I have a need to write off some things of my cheat, that from what I've understood recently has had an big impact on my life. I didn't believe or had the slightest imagination that this would have the deepest meaning for me, I know today why I've until the time the lithium started to kick in - that what happened to me as a child would mark me as hard as it have done. It also explains why I'm without a reason is cut throat to all the people, especially when friends lie to me. I just cut them out - cause if there's one thing that I don't like is disrespectful or being dishonest towards me. I cut them out - and I think I know now what has caused it, returning more than 15 years back into my childhood... I'm only at the beginning and it scares the hell out of me, how much more?


/Anna