I want to be in love, to have butterflies in my stomach and feel these springfeelings again, although I hate it when it happens, it buggs the hell out of me to know that I've never been in love (Yes, for real) I've never totally fallen for someone, I've had crushes but nothing that ever has deepened. I don't know why, am I incappable to fall in love? I thought I had Mr Big, but when I look back now it wasn't that love, he's not the love of my life. Maybe my mistakes in all the men I've dated has always been that I always needed them to substantiate me. The feeling of the substantion that you know comes seeking for you when you meet someone, you want them to like what you wear, that you look beautiful and all that sort of things. I don't want a man to confirm me for that shallow things (who the hell does she think she is, she's always talking about shallow things), I want them to tell me that I'm ok for all the things I am and am not, just that, but of course when a person I know tells me I'm beautiful I take it as a huge compliment and all of you should know I never give a compliment to someone I don't think deserves it.
But damn, do I want those butterflies in my stomach, now!