Changes and warmth!

Tomorrow I'm off, for some days, as I've told you. It's going to be so freakin' fun, I can bet you on that. In all other cases the summer is here to stay (or so it seems) but I am not complaining, why should I? I don't suffer like hell in this warmth, although it might be tough, but with the right methods I'm totally fine!

I'm thinking about taking a break from my blog, for real, not spending time online... I think that might do me some good. I said I'm changing and I really do. Cause I'm not standing still, but the scary thoughts that strucks me is where am I going? But I've also realised that how much I want it to be one way, it might be the other or anyone else...

Xx

/Anna

Moving on...

When you stop wondering and just keep on doing things, cause that's what you want to be doing. I seem to find that it gets easier then. No hangups, no troubles over and over again, no feeling bad about yourself. Just letting go and stop obsessing over everything is maybe many people don't need to think about, others do. Know your limitation, your strength and weakness, also everything in the middle. I'm really fine right now, hm... Let's just enjoy that!

Xx

/Anna

Some thoughts again...

Sometimes I wish I was religious, I'm not in that way. I due tend to wanting to find something more. I will never stop questioning; who I am, who I want to be, those trickly ones. Cause I do believe in improvement, or at least I want to believe in that. If that's reality, no that's nothing I would tell my children (when I get them) that it is, is it called cynicism, maybe? I do really dislike thinking about values, cause they mess up more than they settle... Well, leave that to rest and take care of something else now.

Xx

/Anna

What's in your head?

One of the most amazing songs ever, I my opinion. I've loved it since I saw it many years ago, still do. What to do without these lyrics and this voice? This speaks just as it is and brings up all the thoughts and questions. They are in your head.


Love
/Anna

A ordinary day, maybe?

Tonight I get my all time favourite food, my fathers... I've got agony about the fact that I can't do proper rice yet, but I'm getting there - someone has to follow the tradition forward in cooking persian food, and I think that it will be me. But I enjoy it so much - it's a special technique in doing it! So I have to learn it.

Tomorrow we're shooting some more things, love it! But I will need more food and things that keep my and all the others moods up. Then it's on with all the other thing, meetings, spend time with friends and look forward to a very exciting spring. I can't believe that I'm writing this, but in all the things that happens I'm still standing, I get up and slowly and carefully learning to live and I'm happy - so happy that I can burst into tears (can someone hit me in the head?)... But this is maybe how it feels... I'm just in the beginning of it all, of my life...

Love and happy thoughts

/Anna

Harry Potter fits this day perfect!

Today is just being about relaxation, reading Harry Potter, talking to my wonderful friend Anna, she's one of the most warm and loving friends I have. A true, genuine soul that just makes me smile and laugh, oh I really miss her and love her! I'm coming down soon, promise! Now I'm gonna continue throwing myself into the magical world of Harry Potter! Oh the joy!

I think that the swedish covers are so beautiful! Still, after more than ten years...

Love

/Anna

Do you value yourself as much as you shoud?

Do you have values? For yourself, and not attemting to perform exceedingly well for another person/partner? Do you have them for you and only you? Do you at the same time have goals that you want to achive in a time not to far away? I'm trying to figure out my values, as my goals in my life. That means I'm taking the actual thoughts from my head into actions, for me. I need the structure and I need my brain to start working as I want it, with methods and knowledge.

What are your values? And how do you make them into your ordinary life?

Xx

/Anna

Thoughts about being a brick in a wall..

I don't want to write about the catastrophic disaster on Haiti, not because I don't care, cause I do. I just don't have any words for what's happening. I can write about it now, I really do have thoughts about it. But let's take it like this, I will never allow anyone to take pleasure in human crises, or the violence around us - some people at Facebook created a donation group for the Haiti victims, but they changed it - into something where the money went to something else, in this case necrophilia (I do not say you can't imagine about stuff or wanting something, that's totally up to you), but to collect money from it. Is that okey? No, not for me. I don't think I know anyone who is into childpornography or domestic violence, neither sexual assulting women or men, violation is never going to be something I would accept. Sometimes I use to say that we're all just a brick in the wall (yes from Pink Floyd) cause it fits right there. I don't know - we're indivduals, but also the same, with the same rights and we have our freedom, but do we really?

/Anna

Thoughts on a saturday morning...

Sometimes you have too many words, that you can't give away any of them. They are just too many. I know that I've told people that I one day is going to write about the bipolar disorder I have, but today is not that day. I can't put the sentences into a good formation. So I'm letting that go for now. Right now, I don't write so much about anything in particular, I just write about the things that currently is in my mind. At the moment, is that christmas is approaching in a speed of lightening. We'll see what happens, I'm just smiling.

Xx
/Anna

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Honey is sweet, But not as sweet as you...

It seems that nothing really special is going to happen today, not that you will be interested in, I think. Maybe, I will blog about the fact that it's Valentines Day on saturday and no, I still haven't found anyone really special to spend it with. But I think the whole idea of Valentines day, is a little bit overrated, shouldn't we always treat the ones we love and cherish kindly and loving? Maybe some think it's something wonderful about getting some flowers, I wouldn't think that. I don't like gifts that doesn't have a thought behind them and something that proves the person, giving the present, has thought about me. You can give me flowers anyday of the year around, when I don't think I would get any, that's when it's the most beautiful and when I know your gift is sporadically and something you do with your heart... Just some of my thoughts...


Tomorrow I will be going away for the weekend, I need to get the tension of my shoulders and just get away for a few days, so I'm going to visit my loveliest Emilia, we'll see what happens up there. No I'm not going to get my head more fucked up, it's like playing russian roulette and that my friends is not something I am particularly very fond of, but to hell with that, I will have fun and I will take care of myself. I sure do want to drink a cosmo up there, or anywhere for that matter... It's like when you are a baby, you are always told that some things are dangerous and you shouldn't touch them, of course you are going to touch it! It is like everthing that is forbidden is the most desirable curse in the whole wide world. Now it's me, myself and I who has cast that forbidden desirable curse on me, it doesn't fit me that well.


xo xo
Ciao!