Sadness and happiness, equals?

Sometimes I wish that I had something interesting to write about, I envy people (not always), as I see it, they have these extraordinary lives, that I don't get slightly close to. I want to feel that "happiness", although I'm also very pleased that I don't all the time. As it comes to me it's important to have both sides, if you don't know  sadness. How do you know feelings of happiness? For heavens sake, does anyone in this era live happily ever after? If they do, please tell me about it. I would like to hear your point of view, telling me I'm dreadfully wrong in not always endeavoring for that feeling of utter hapiness - all the time.

Maybe sadness is a blessing, yet a curse, as well as happiness is likewise, Taking myself as an example, can experience happiness as a dreadful emotion as it can be the most wonderful in it's fullest. Happiness and sadness can't live without each other. Is there even a hint of beauty by being able to have it all?

/A 

Watermelon!

The sun is out, it's warm, life is sweet and I'm eating watermelon! Love this!

And all of the people here in Sweden who complained about the cold winter, you have to shut it now, cause this is a lovely summer and all the warmth that you lack! So stop complaining! It's going to be cold soon enough so...

I love the summer with all it's fruits!

Xx

/Anna

A very happy day!

So now I've booked in one weekend during july, when I won't be in Sthlm, but in Gävle! How lovely isn't that? Spending time with some of the people I cherish the most! Pure love and very fun times! Life is good, after that I have Skinny Puppy and Leonard Cohen (oh, how lovely to see him again)! That I'll bet will be a smash, nothing else!

I'm in a very VERY good mood today, truly happy! Me likey!

I love being happy, there's no better feeling in the world!

Xx

/Anna

Explain happiness?

Things are alright, I've had the best week in a very long time now... I'm utterly at comfort with (almost) everything. These feelings of loving to live is still overwhelming sometimes, it still knocks me out but keeps me above. How can you explain? I can't. I can't put words on joy or happiness. Can anyone tell me exact how it should feel? Or is it individual for each and everyone? Who's to say that your happiness is like mine or any others? Please tell me, I want to know - need to know. But these feelings are just there without me doing anything to make them be there - I enjoy this while it's lasting. I live and why not make the best of it those moment that I can?

Hope all of you have wonderful days to! Missing so many of my friends that it breaks my heart, and I think about you!

Love and kisses

/Anna

Dodge a bullet from the perfect life?

This week has just started out as hell, with that said, moving on. I have to find my own place where I can lay me down and realise that I'm still me. Also I need someone, and I want to be in love, even though it frightens me to death to become something like that - I'm torn. But you have to be able to jump to see if you still are able to live... How do you combine fear with living to the fullest? For the fact, Happiness isn't something that just are there all the time, life isn't just a ray of sunshine, it's thunder to. I don't strive anymore for the perfect life, that's long gone -instead an idea that might striving for something new, and never expect anything else. Sometimes you really can protect yourself from some of those bullets... Cause nothing is worse than loosing the perfect image in your head, cause when you reach a certain point you will wonder; Was this it? Is there anything more? And when there's not - you slip.

"The perfect and wonderful life with a loved one, children, and the suburb life" - No, that's not for me, not today nor tomorrow.

Xx

/Anna

A new decade, has begun...

And so did the New Year begin tonight! Hope all of you had a nice time celebrating, I did. I do not have any big vows that I set up, just living healthy and have nice people surrounding me, is the most important thing. A decade has past us now, and I couldn't have begun this better in any other way, it's just pure happiness and love.


So I hope all of you have a beautiful day today and that you take care of yourselves!

Love and happiness
/Anna

Happiness is fluid.

I have nothing to say, my head trumbles in it's own mess I'm making, I'm feeling fine, but something isn't as it should be. I need new things to look at, new things to break the borders with. I'm walking and feeling quite proud that I'm still doing it, cause this feels like a dream - and I'm ready to take the punch anytime, but it's not coming. I don't know why? Maybe cause I'm happy for the first time? Happiness is fluid, one day it's like nothing like you've never seen before, next day it's calm but still there.


I need to start sewing clothes, I need a velvet dress, give me! Please, in a dark color...

Xx
/Anna

Think what that money could bring, I'd buy everything, Clean out Vivienne Westwood, In my Galliano gown!

I slept for about a little bit too much today, but it was what I needed, in any other case I wouldn't have slept for that long... I got to bed really late to, for a reason, okey? But I fell asleep with a smile on my face, feeling like I accutally had done something good and the feeling (I really don't recognize it quite yet) was there and I relaxed and just enjoyed the moment. Today since I woke up I've been drained for about the most things I can feel, but on the opposite for what it uses to be - it's been good. It's been exhaustion and that feeling again... But I enjoy it all.


Since yesterday I've been thinking about ideas and that part of my brain haven't gone quiet at all. I think it never will when I'm going upwards, not a real mania now, but being in the state you can be in when you can work but not are needing any sleep or anything less than your inspiration material. I found a Galliano ad and I found so much inspiration from. Love it! I'll just post the picture where you can see the model. I love Galliano (now we're talking about his own label, I love Dior too), maybe I should throw up some my favorite items he's done for the last five years - but not today.

How lovely isn't this?

xo xo
Ciao!

Why should I feel sad, for what I never had?

I've got to do reality checks more often, it's nothing I can get away from, no matter how much I want it. I have to have control over my own body and that my friends isn't that easy as I wish it could be. When I feel better there's a reason that I don't eat so much crappy food, I don't need it to feel good and when I'm down I tend to eat everything (of course not everything, there's a limit) I can get my hands on. But that always ends when I do get better - and now I do feel a hell of a lot better. I'd never imagine that I should someday feel happiness, how the hell could I be so off track and think that I wouldn't feel that feeling. A feeling I feel and think that every living person should be granted to feel. So now it's time to start a healthy and better life! For the first time in my life (that would be about 22 years and almost 6 months) I do have a feeling that's comfortable and that isn't a usual thing for me.



I want to have something new tomorrow, but the thing is I really don't like buying clothes for the winter, it's so boring! You can although wear skirts and so on if you always have thick thights on, it's a saviour for me, cause I don't like wearing jeans, it's not for my body, that's a thing for sure... But I don't wear thick thights when I go out, then it's thin ones that's the option. Oh, I saw these shoes and adored them! Loove! But those are for the summer, not the winter...


Now I'm going to wash my hair, peel my body and do a facial treatment with the mask from Dermalogica!


xo xo
Ciao!

My love is for you, for you only for you.

Today it's Valentines day and I'll send a message here to and for all of you that are special to me, or anyone who wants a little bit of my love - so I'll send to the ones who wants it. Just as simple as that, nothing more nothing less. My love though might be something like cherries, both sour and sweet...


I do have an amazing feeling inside of me, that won't go away, but I do not, I reapeat I do not take this feeling for granted, I now that things may change, but as I look at myself now, I've never in my life been so comfortable with my own thinking, not evrything yet, but I'll get there. Have a wonderful day, I have to get going I have stuff to do.

xo xo
Ciao!

A new day has begun and I feel it in my fingertips...

I can't stop thinking about some things that are rushing through my head, first of all, I feel a feeling, I've never felt before and I'm calm about it. I realise that it is exactly what it is, feelings. They are not going to harm me or destroy me, I'm taking this experience and making it to the fullest. I'm calm, yet overwealmed by a happy feeling that I'd always has had in mind like something unatainable, a thing to high to reach, it's mindblowing and to be real for a minute, I'm not even at the top yet... A slow process has been evolving in my body the last five months and now it's given me some fruit to taste, I do love it. Happiness, a feeling so exquisit and so far from where I started that it's now, some words are just to damn hard to express. So I won't do it...


Yeah, today I shopped a little too, a pair of boots which are flat (OMG, is she going to wear flat boots? It's slippery outside...), some new make-up products and of course gifts. I didn't really look for clothes, I want to create them now, it streaks my mind that I really want to create.


I have to start packing again (I've taken a break), everything has to be in the suitcase in the morning, cause even if I'm leaving in the middle of the day, I have stuff to do. Ha!


xo xo
Ciao!