J'adore Weitzman habillez-moi, Louis, Dolce Gabbana, Alexander McQueen at all, Madame love those Manolo...

You just have to listen to this new song from Lady GaGa, it's called Fashion - and it's just fab! I'm in love, but as you all know, I do adore Lady GaGa and her music, I can't explain why I like her so much, she's stuck up in my head and I don't mind her being there. I love her style - her way of expressing herself and mostly how she is herself - if you belive what she says. I think I do that. But you may never now.

J'adore Vivienne habillez-moi
Gucci, Fendi, and Prada. Valentino, Armani too
Madame love them Jimmy Choo

I need some new stilettos
Can't walk, down the street in those
You are, who you wear, it's true
A girl's just as hot as the shoes she choose
Oh yeah

xo xo
Ciao!

Fashion put it all on me, Don't you want to see these clothes on me, Fashion put it all on me, I am anyone you want me to be... Ohhh Ohhh, La, La, La!

I'm so tired now, you wouldn't belive me if I told you... I've been styling two wonderful and sweet models for a photoshoot. Amanda from Elite and Henrietta from Upmodels, you are by far the most adorable and tolerable teens I've ever met, since I went off my teens. We did about 6 different shoots and I loved being so creative. As for sparkling and lovely makeup the wonderful Elva worked her magic and for the hair for making it fabulous and fantastic was Hanse responsible for. For the photography we had amazing Nina Holma and her assitent Nicola. I had so much fun! But now I'm so tired that my eyes roll back into my head, my feet hurts - so not funny, but well worth it! I would probably do it again right now if I wasn't so mashed up in my head... But you know, I'm smiling!


Here is the moodboard we had our inspiration from, I'll post the behind-the-scenes tomorrow perhaps, if I can and have the strenght. Right now, I really don't.

xo xo
Ciao!

I feel like I've been locked up tight, For a century of lonely nights, Waiting for someone to release me...

Today I have to go into town, I do have some sort of problem with going out when it's snowing, I like sitting in a car and take the ride as easily as I can... I'm a comfort person. Comfort before everything in by that I mean comfort in transporting myself, not clothes although when you are comfortable in clothes, you acctually look nicer, I just need to understand that it isn't so cold outside (I know that it is) and, I have to deny the feeling I have about the snow. I like it, but I do not like the cold at all. Maybe if it was warm and sunny, it wouldn't feel so cold and by warm I mean about 10 degrees or more above zero.


I do want the things I put up yesterday. I came to think about it last night, how much I really wanted it. Not little at all, but very very much! I'm eager to have to, it's like a force that's pulling me towards it. I have to have it. There's no question about it. It would work out with a nice LBD, wouldn't it? I think so... And all the colour on the shoes and the bag match it up and perhaps something in your hair or a necklace or earings... We'll see...


xo xo
Ciao!

My Name Burned In Your Skin, I Am Your Nasty Sin, The Beast That Lives Within, Cause You Are So Obscene, You Are So Kinky And Obscene...

I am in love with this group, unfortunatly they don't make music anymore. I've was struck by lightening when I saw one of their music videos, not this one, just listen to the music and lyrics in it, they've toned the video down a bit, but I love it! It's a bit provocative, but that's something I always have loved...



I'll post some other videos from them when I think you're ready for it.

xo xo
Ciao!

I'm not interested in fakers and I don't do funny buisness...

I am currently considering to not have any anxiety-attacks anymore, the problem there is that you can't really decide when you're gonna have 'em. It's like a neverending circus when you have it, like you're riding a rollercoaster and you feel really nauseous, not a funny feeling at all. Yesterday I felt the urge to write in my very own personal journal and it wasn't anything bad, just that I feel that I always keep second guessing myself, a feeling not so easy to get rid of, I don't belive in myself all the time - but can you tell me anyone who is always certain they've done the best thing, a perfect job. Nothing is perfect, you can't expect that people will do things perfect, but you can however pursue and expect that a person will do as best as he or she can. None the less. This photosession and some of it's pictures is close to perfection for me - and it gives me anxiety that I can't perform as well as that yet.


I want to buy tons of new stuff, but I don't know which ones are the ones that are the most valuable for me, maybe I'll find something...





xo xo
Ciao!

Will you don't bite the hand that feeds, will you stay down on your knees?

Today a dear friend of mine reminded me of some long lost songs that I love. It brings some melancoly memories for me, but now that I listen to it, I feel calm and that, my friends is a good thing. Just listen to it, it's good.



Nine Inch Nails - The Hand That Feeds (stripped)

xo xo
Ciao!

This one, with an electro loop and hand claps, doesn't sound as glum as its title portends...

I can't stop listening to Cemetries of London, yes of course it's made by Coldplay and, I can assure you that it is truly amazing, nothing else, så now - more than ever before - I do indeed want to see them at Stockholm Stadion when they come in August, the problem is that I don't have anyone to go with and it makes me sad. Coldplay has become something that I can't describe for people, I don't associate them with anyone or anything wrong in my life, even though the lyrics can be slightly "down", but it always has a bit of joy in it... So I'm desperately seeking someone to go with, pretty pretty please! On the other hand I think I can go with my brother and his friends, that would be fun!


I stumbled upon some amazing things yesterday, it's not in my pricerange but it is something to lay your eyes on and to concentrate on how to make those things something wearable for me. I have bought a jumpsuit, it's a suit with legs and it goes over my breast (bust not any higher) I'll post a picture of it. I've got some ideas for how to wear it, it works with a lot of things cause it's black.

The jumpsuit!

xo xo
Ciao!

At night they will go walking, to the breaking of the day, the morning is for sleeping...

I really don't have the time to write anything useful today, I've got tons of things to do and for what I know, there's always a problem with time. I have to find all the pictures for a photoshoot were I am going to do the styling. It's going to be Haute Couture, the one thing I love the most, in fashion so to speak. In my terms fashion is a way to express my feelings and to look the best, perhaps a bit narcissitic about that but, when you wear clothes that really fit you, I can promise you that it shows!




Last night I did put on my Dermalogica treatment mask that I've been so eager to try on and, I don't know what to say, my skin was amazing after it, although I looked like a carrot in the face it didn't matter, cause my purpose of using it was such a big hit for my face, that now I'm going to do exactly that treatment every week, my skin need it and yes, I'm getting better on treating my skin - and now I'm going to get better in treating the inside of my body. Maybe a detoxifying? I really don't know. We'll see.




xo xo
Ciao!

No I don't wanna battle from beginning to end; I don't wanna cycle, recycle revenge; I don't wanna follow death and all his friends...

Yesterday it was AC/DC and yeah, I enjoyed it... But it wasn't what I expected, sorry to say that all the AC/DC big fans. It might have been that I wasn't up to my ears about it. As I know I can be... And for the record I don't think it was that kind of show I thought it would be. But sure, it was nice to have seen them and now I've done that. I don't think it will be a next time. But I won't say never - cause you don't know.


Tonight it was the Oscars or Academy Awards and one of my favorite actress won in the category Leading actress - Kate Winslet. I didn't look at it, cause I was so tired, but when I read the news I was like a child again, so fabulous, amazing and wonderful as she is you really can't expect anything else from me, really? And the others who won, it was for sure really excellent of them to!

But for sure, she's looking quite amazing in that dress, I do love it!

I have an issue to take up with you, but it is a bit sensitive, so I think I'm going to wait with it, perhaps I'll blog about it when I want the comments, but I'll tell you one thing UGGS, you know the awful and totally idiotic shoe that was so popular for some years ago, they are so f'ing ugly, I feel like throwing up! Why are they even allowed on this planet? I just wonder. It's not okey!

(Note: I do not have a problem with leather or anything, I have a problem with how they look)

xo xo
Ciao!

I'm on a highway to hell or maybe just thunderstruck?

Today it's time for me to see AC/DC, you know that big rock band with the big hit that goes something like this: "I'm on a highway to hell..." I think you know that one, or maybe Thunderstruck? I think it's going to be fun, but I am not the keenest on going - sorry to say. I thought I was going to be up and all over my ears by now, but I'm scaringly calm and perhaps I get the feeling when I get there, there's only one way to find out. I'll tell you tomorrow.


I don't think I'm even so keen on seeing Metallica in two weeks - what the hell has happened? I'm not depressed or anything - I think it's the fact that I'm gonna see Madonna in the summer and if the wind blows right Coldplay (I always manage to get tickets to the sold out shows, haha, lucky me!) I really want to see Coldplay - desperately!


I think I have to get going, I have tons of stuff to do, no not really, but a lot of things that I need to take care of, accutally I really don't like being stressed. Then my heads starts to spin and that's not so enjoyable. So I'm gonna listen to some music that is calming, call some calls and don't stress. Pan Pipes perhaps? Or something just soothing?

I do feel calm when I look at this picture...

xo xo
Ciao!

I'm so starstruck, baby could you blow my heart up?

I'll just have to post some pictures of some things I really would like to have in my closet, we'll see what exactly I want right now. I can assure you that it is always something, some new pair of shoes, a new skirt, maybe a dress or perhaps a top. We'll see... Here are two-three things I want!

These sunglasses are exactly my style!

This top/tunic is also one thing I would love to wear in the summer!
Maybe with some kind of nice high heels and accessories, I think that would be a smash!

This one is a really big favorite right now, cause of the low cut back and a bow!
How marvelous! I think I'm in love!

xo xo
Ciao!

It keeps getting better!

Today I'm off to see some relatives of mine, I think it will be a pleasant time and I know that I will enjoy it, cause I get to play with my little cousin Klara, how lovely isn't that? It's so that my aunt is celebrating her birthday, so then we gather up and put together a little party for just us relatives. That's how it's done in my family, I'll probably change all that - if I know myself that well. So today I will have good food, some cake (hope my stomach can take it, most of the times I don't care but today I do) and play with my little cousins, of course I will take pictures, but I don't think they'll end up here or anywhere else than on my harddrive.


I have to have a closet-clean-out, no I'm not saying that I'm going to throw things away, just stock them somewhere and have only the things I want to wear right now in my closet, cause now in the section where I have all my dresses, it's a real mess, litterally and I am not fond of that... For real. We'll see what happens there too... And I want new things - I am for sure a really bad person.

Net-a-Porter

xo xo
Ciao!

It's consumed by fire and rises again...

I've been thinking, if I ever would get a tattoo, it would be of a phoenix and because what it stands for, for me. They always rise from ashes and keep living so that is one major thing that's in my head and a lot of other things. On the other hand I don't think it would fit me, maybe cause I'm not a person who enjoys tattoos on myself, but on others. But I'm like a phoenix, I will always rise whatever happens, except when I die, obviously!

I really do love this picture!

xo xo
Ciao!

Why should I feel sad, for what I never had?

I've got to do reality checks more often, it's nothing I can get away from, no matter how much I want it. I have to have control over my own body and that my friends isn't that easy as I wish it could be. When I feel better there's a reason that I don't eat so much crappy food, I don't need it to feel good and when I'm down I tend to eat everything (of course not everything, there's a limit) I can get my hands on. But that always ends when I do get better - and now I do feel a hell of a lot better. I'd never imagine that I should someday feel happiness, how the hell could I be so off track and think that I wouldn't feel that feeling. A feeling I feel and think that every living person should be granted to feel. So now it's time to start a healthy and better life! For the first time in my life (that would be about 22 years and almost 6 months) I do have a feeling that's comfortable and that isn't a usual thing for me.



I want to have something new tomorrow, but the thing is I really don't like buying clothes for the winter, it's so boring! You can although wear skirts and so on if you always have thick thights on, it's a saviour for me, cause I don't like wearing jeans, it's not for my body, that's a thing for sure... But I don't wear thick thights when I go out, then it's thin ones that's the option. Oh, I saw these shoes and adored them! Loove! But those are for the summer, not the winter...


Now I'm going to wash my hair, peel my body and do a facial treatment with the mask from Dermalogica!


xo xo
Ciao!

Is it cause you don't mean it, or cause I don't feel it?

It feels like I have tons of things to do, but it's okey for me... No, not really, I'm sick and I have a soar throat, which by all means it isn't so pleasant to be with me when I have my ups and downs (it's never pleasant to be with me when I have them). But hey, you know what - it is life, you may hate it or love it, but it is what it is. I'm getting bored so please cheer me up! I need to laugh and feel not so mashed up in my head as you all may know that you do when you have a idiotic cold.


I'm thinking about order some things home, I need stuff like Elizabeth Ardens' Eight Hour Cream, some new styling products for my hair and a new hair straightener, I also need a new peeling from Lancôme and a lot more things... I've decided to take care of my own body and I can't think of a better time than now... A healhty lifestyle is the key also, I've realised it from stop eating a bunch of crap that I always ate before...




xo xo
Ciao!

Your own personal jesus!

I just get worse and worse for every minute that goes by, yesterday I wasn't half as bad as I am now - that's disturbing. I really do hate it. I don't feel well at all, my throat aches and I have a really bad cold now, I'm just hoping it gets better and that I don't need to call my doctor to get some medication... I really don't know how that would work. But it will work out fine, I'm just so tired again and that's another thing I don't like. I always become tired when I am sick. So I think that I will take it very easy these days...


I have so many concerts that I'm going to this year, I will take them in order - AC/DC, Metallica, Jean Michel Jarre, Depeche Mode (and a lot of other bands at Arvika) and of course, Madonna! And the autumns concerts aren't even planned yet, we will see what that brings... But for now I'm accutally quite happy for the experiences that I will have! But - yes, there's a but. I will never ever see Queen and the real installation... That breaks my heart...

xo xo
Ciao!

It's sticky and sweet, It is Madonna!

I am so incredibly and f'ing happy right now, yes - you heard it right. I am so happy that I really can't describe with words how this feels. I am going to see MADONNA! And my dear friends - that will beat every fucking thing I've seen so far. I really don't care that she doesn't have the best voice, the woman is a legend, an icon for me and I AM GOING TO SEE HER! It's just so amazing, I do get to see her and that's the thing that matters. It is Madonna, for heavens sake!


xo xo
Ciao!

There's no beginning and no ending, Give me a chance to go and I'll take it!

I'm sitting in my fathers old t-shirt, cause I am currently treating some promblems on my back, I haven't had serious issues with my back for a long time, until last week and yes it is pimples, I do not belive I suffer from severe and problematic acne... The thing is that I think I know what causes it - so I can change my behaviour. Like being stressed out, our eating the wrong things, I do that sometimes and you know what I really shouldn't. That's the thing about forbidden pleasures, you really want it when you can't have it. So living clean and so on is my thing, I do not want to fuck up things - and for the record I do get better by eating pomegranate and lime is something I do feel better in my body with (or lemons)!



I am in the line of getting Madonna tickets and as you know I am not so fond of waiting, I get restless and bored of all the waiting. But it's worth it for something like this, I guess we'll figure out what will happen later on, cause you may never know. But of course are we hoping for the best!


xo xo
Ciao!

Kiss, Kiss, Gonna tell you right now, I'll make it sweet on your lips...

I'm home again after being away for a couple of days. I got to see a lot of wonderful people these days, so lots of love to all of you for shining up my days, but not everyone I wanted to meet. But there was no time and this trip was planned in somewhere in the beginning of last week, so it was short notice, but hey, that's life. You can't always have the best preperation, some things are just spontaneously and it just happens! I will come back and I will visit everyone! But maybe when it has become spring and it's a little bit warmer in the air, oh you should just know how cold I am. I am for real freezing my fucking butt off - and I do not enjoy a single bit of it. I do hate it when it's cold. But I do love it when it's snow on the ground, it's just the cold I have a problem with...




I am now going to take a shower, look at some series, I need SATC right now and take care of my body, as I told you I do not like it when it's cold, because I always get a cold and I cough alot when it gets bad, it hasn't come to that point yet, but still... I don't like having a cold - it mess my brain up more than it should be. Aaah, I don't have the time for being sick. So a warm shower, peeling my body and just taking care of myself tonight is the thing - and look at SATC. That's love!


And I got some disburbing news from my doctor - but I never felt better or happier, I'm just climbing, so there's a dilemma there, I feel so much better, but it can if I think in a long term, have some damage on my body... Well we'll see what happens. Keep your fingers crossed.

xo xo
Ciao!

Gimme, Gimme what I need, Gimme, Gimme what I want!

Tonight I slept for about a little bit more than 4 hours and to the fact that I get tired for only sleeping 5 hours, it's pretty remarkable that not an inch of my body is tired... It's not a usual thing for me to sleep this short and be awake for a very long time - and I just think it is somewhat awkward for me to feel that. Anyway, tonight I will sleep, but if I know my body right, it will be somewhat uncomfortable to really sleep when my mind is fully awake, for all the bloody sense it makes - it doesn't feel less unfortunate that I really can't get a good nights sleep, because I really need it...

Sleeping Beauty - Edward Burne Jones

Now I think I'm going to look at some things that I want, some new accesories, some new clothes and yes , of course, ladies and gentlemen - shoes! But I don't know what I want. Yeah, I do accutally but I'm not going to tell you about it right yet. Maybe when I feel that I want to show you all that stuff, but I do not have all my photos of it, cause as you know, I am not home at the moment. So I'll post them another day. Now it's time for a movie. But I do like this outfit...

Net-a-Porter

xo xo
Ciao!

My love is for you, for you only for you.

Today it's Valentines day and I'll send a message here to and for all of you that are special to me, or anyone who wants a little bit of my love - so I'll send to the ones who wants it. Just as simple as that, nothing more nothing less. My love though might be something like cherries, both sour and sweet...


I do have an amazing feeling inside of me, that won't go away, but I do not, I reapeat I do not take this feeling for granted, I now that things may change, but as I look at myself now, I've never in my life been so comfortable with my own thinking, not evrything yet, but I'll get there. Have a wonderful day, I have to get going I have stuff to do.

xo xo
Ciao!

Come on, Come on, let me out!

I didn't get much done yesterday with the packing, so I went up early today and started to finish it. I sleep about 6-7 hours per night now, it's a comfortable amount of time for me. I get to bed around 12 p.m or maybe later, but I have to have a regular procedure, of the matter that if I don't, shit happens. Nothing could be as simple as that. In terms of speaking, living with my "disorder", everything like sleep, food and the basic things, has to be a rutine. For me of course it is a slightly boring thing, but a real mania it's not that funny, it's quite hard to handle yourself as well as when you're in a depression. I'm in neither of them right now, but the awkwardness of knowing about it is a little bit disturbing but also very reliving. Knowing is the key for everything in cases like these.


Now I really do have to get going, I do feel a little bit stressed out and nervous, but hey, I won't let it bother me right now. I deal with it later. Gävle, here I come! But what the hell am I going to wear?

xo xo
Ciao!

A new day has begun and I feel it in my fingertips...

I can't stop thinking about some things that are rushing through my head, first of all, I feel a feeling, I've never felt before and I'm calm about it. I realise that it is exactly what it is, feelings. They are not going to harm me or destroy me, I'm taking this experience and making it to the fullest. I'm calm, yet overwealmed by a happy feeling that I'd always has had in mind like something unatainable, a thing to high to reach, it's mindblowing and to be real for a minute, I'm not even at the top yet... A slow process has been evolving in my body the last five months and now it's given me some fruit to taste, I do love it. Happiness, a feeling so exquisit and so far from where I started that it's now, some words are just to damn hard to express. So I won't do it...


Yeah, today I shopped a little too, a pair of boots which are flat (OMG, is she going to wear flat boots? It's slippery outside...), some new make-up products and of course gifts. I didn't really look for clothes, I want to create them now, it streaks my mind that I really want to create.


I have to start packing again (I've taken a break), everything has to be in the suitcase in the morning, cause even if I'm leaving in the middle of the day, I have stuff to do. Ha!


xo xo
Ciao!